I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE COMPLAIN ABOUT CISNORMATIVITY/HETERONORMATIVITY BECAUSE IT IS FACTUALLY MORE COMMON FOR SOMEONE TO BE CISGENDERED AND HETEROSEXUAL THEREFORE CONSIDERED ‘NORMAL’ FUCK YALL
There’s a difference between “normal” and “common”.
Imagine you’re at a fast food restaurant that’s known for its hamburgers. Most people who go there order hamburgers. Most of their advertising focuses on hamburgers. Hamburgers make up the most frequent item on the menu, and are the most frequently ordered item.
Going to this place and having a hamburger is “common”.
The menu also includes chicken sandwiches and salads. They have everything on hand to make these things, they are programmed into the cash register and the staff is trained to make them.
Going to this place and having a hamburger, a chicken sandwich, or a salad is “normal”.
With me so far?
Okay, imagine you go to the restaurant and you order a zesty southwest chicken sandwich. The person behind the counter speaks into a microphone, “one southwest cheeseburger.”
"Uh, I actually ordered a chicken sandwich," you say. He looks at you like you’re weird, and you repeat yourself.
"Most people order hamburgers," is what he says,and you have to prompt him again to correct it. When he does, he acts like he’s doing you a huge and inconvenient favor and turns to a co-worker to mutter about what the big deal is, most people order hamburgers.
The next time you come to the restaurant, you go through the drive-thru. This time the person takes your order correctly, but when you get home you discover you were given the burger. You go back—because you really wanted a chicken sandwich—and the manager rolls his eyes and says, “[Ma’am/sir], most people prefer our hamburgers.”
Imagine this was a prevalent problem with this restaurant. Because of this and similar experiences that other people have, people order fewer chicken sandwiches, so they spend less time training on how to make them. They trim them from the menu. They feature them less prominently in their advertising. After all, most people prefer hamburgers.
That’s what people mean when they talk about “normativity”.
"Burgernormativity" in this extended metaphor doesn’t mean "more people like hamburgers than chicken sandwiches and this is a problem for me as a chicken sandwich eater!"
It means “people treat chicken sandwiches as if they were some sort of strange anomaly, which pushes them to the margins and exacerbates the situation that led to this state of affairs in the first place to the point that people who might like chicken sandwiches might not be aware that it’s an option and even people who are looking for them have a worse experience.”