you know whats worse than tumbears?
On one of the internet’s most popular, and notorious, sites, a new community is bringing together White gay men with
old fashioned tastes internalized homophobia and a penchant for misogyny.
I fixed it.
Thank you :D
Slow the fuck down. This is more of this bullshit knee-jerk “masculine gay men interested in discussing manly stuff amongst themselves” = misogyny and internalized homophobia bullshit.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: To say that masculine gay men must have internalized homophobia is itself painfully homophobic; it implies that gay men are naturally more feminine than straight men, and to act otherwise would be to defy one’s true nature. While there is nothing wrong with being a feminine gay man, to assume that one gender expression is natural and the norm is wrong. If you are a gay man and believe this, you are not helping yourself. If you are not a gay man and you believe this, you are a shit ally and you need to stop. It’s not wrong for us to struggle against stereotypes, and one way for us to do that is to have the more masculine ones among us also point out that they exist. By showing that there is variety in our community, we allow ourselves to be seen as not just a cliche but actual humans by the world at large; not just the masculine ones, but all of us by virtue of the fact that now people know that they have to pay some fucking attention to actually know what we’re like before resorting to a tired cliche. “Maybe this guy likes drag and boxing! Maybe this one likes old cars and Cher. Maybe it’s he’s more feminine, maybe he’s more masculine, maybe it’s a mix, LET’S FIND OUT”
By the way, about the misogyny thing - and again, I’ve covered this before so sorry for people who follow me and have to see this again - labeling a lack of feminine traits and a desire to let it be known misogynistic is not only stupid but potentially damaging, because like the homophobia accusation you’re connecting the quality of enjoying stereotypically feminine pursuits with womanhood in and of itself. This is also wrong, as it reinforces gender roles. And nobody should be stuck in a gender role because that sucks ass.
By the way, I actually took a look at this subreddit and tried to find anything devious about it - maybe something condemning feminine gay men in there or something in the official rules and such.
What I found was this:
So uh. The people who run it pretty clearly are fine with having any given set of interests or being on any part of the masculinity-femininity spectrum, they just want to make sure the group stays on topic.
FEMME SHAMING! INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA! MISOGYNY!!!!11!!
(Side note: Is here-lies-andalusia implying that nonwhite gay men can’t be masculine? Because I’ve met plenty of guys down here who fit the “gaybro” mold and like a little time with others like them here and there. Hey, according to Redd’s standards even though I’m pale as fuck the fact that I’m Cuban makes me an oppressed PoC, so that must be embarrassing for them)